Small Speaking Habits — Big Confidence Changes

If you know a lot of English words and grammar but still feel nervous when you speak, the problem may not be your English but what you do while you are speaking. For example, you might stop in the middle of a sentence to correct yourself, or not use a perfectly good word because you think there must be a better one. 

Over time these habits can become so automatic that you don’t even notice them, but trust me, they are having an unseen effect on your daily conversations and confidence.  

Good news, people: you don't have to completely change the way you speak - you can start by changing one small habit at a time.

Finish Your Thought Before You Fix It

What It Means:

It’s very common for people (even native speakers!) to correct their own English while they are still speaking.

You start a sentence and make a grammar mistake so you stop and correct it, then you realize that another word might sound better, so you change that too. 

By the time you reach the end of your sentence, you have forgotten what you wanted to say in the first place!

Your English is not weak, your brain is simply trying to do two jobs at the same time - speak and edit, which use two different parts of the brain.

What to Do:

When you're having a conversation, let yourself finish the thought first. If you make a small mistake and the other person still understands you, keep going.

That said, this doesn't mean you should never correct yourself. If you realise that you have given someone the wrong information or your meaning is unclear, of course you can fix it. The point is to stop treating every small mistake as an emergency.

The Example:

Carlos is telling a colleague about a meeting. He says, “Yesterday we discuss—discussed—the new project, and I think it was…” He stops again because he isn't sure whether he should say was or were. His colleague waits while Carlos rebuilds the sentence, and the project becomes a distant memory 🤣.

Nisha is telling a friend about the same meeting; “Yesterday we discuss new project, and there be change to schedule.” Her friend understands her immediately, and the conversation continues naturally.

Nisha knows that she can work on the grammar later so she doesn't let one small mistake take control of the conversation.

Rule of Thumb:

Finish the thought first and work on the small mistakes later.

REMEMBER > You can always improve a sentence later, but Your first job when speaking is to say what you want to say.

Bonus Points:

Just like trying to keep your home perfectly clean 24/7, you may be worrying about things that other people don’t even notice. Easing up on the perfectionist in you will go a long way to freeing your mind for the really important (and fun!) things in life! 

Keep the Word That Works

What It Means:

Another habit can make speaking  feel harder is looking for a better word when you’ve already thought of a perfectly good one to use.

You know a simple word, but as soon as you say it, your brain suggests, “Maybe there is a better word.” so you stop in mid-sentence to look for it, which can make you lose your train of thought, or at least create a long and uncomfortable pause.

This often happens when you are speaking with someone who seems very fluent, because you may feel that your English needs to sound fancy for you to be taken seriously.

What to Do:

When you know a word that will clearly show your meaning, use it and keep talking. If a better word comes to you right away, by all means use it, but if it does not, keep speaking.

The Example:

Amira is telling her neighbour about her new job and says, “My new office is very busy.” Then she stops because she thinks busy may be too simple. She thinks of hectic, but she is not sure if it is correct; now she is nervous and has forgotten what she wanted to say next.

Jin is having the same conversation.  He says, “My new office is very busy. There are so many people, and everyone needs something.” It’s good enough because busy describes the situation perfectly. 

Jin isn't using better English - he's using the English he already knows more easily.  

Rule of Thumb:

If a simple word says what you mean, it is already doing its job.

PRO TIP > There is a time and place to learn and practise using new words, but during a conversation your only goal is to make yourself understood.

Bonus Points:

The idea of keeping a simple vocabulary carries over into your everyday life as well; ask yourself, “is there an easier way to do this?”, and you’ll be surprised at how much smoother your days are!

Bottom Line

Speaking confidence is not only about learning more English; it’s the small habits, like finishing your thought before correcting yourself and keeping a simple word when it works, that will make speaking feel much easier.

Keep it simple and let the English you already know do more of the heavy lifting (save the lifting for the gym!).

If you’re ready to work on your English in a focused and structured way (or to begin your French journey), start here: https://www.fluentandfabulous.com/home